Talking to parents about AI in school (with a letter you can adapt)

Schools consistently underestimate how well this goes when it is done first, and how badly it goes when it is done second. A parent told in advance is a parent with a question. A parent who finds out from their child has a grievance, and the grievance is rarely about AI — it is about not being told.

What parents actually want to know

Not the technology. Four things:

1. What will my child see? Meaning: what does it refuse, and who decided.
2. Can you see what they did? Both directions matter — some parents want oversight, some are uneasy about surveillance, and both want to know which it is.
3. Will this replace their thinking? The real fear behind most objections, and it deserves a direct answer rather than reassurance.
4. What do I have to do? Most parents want a small, clear ask, not a project.

Say the honest thing about limits

The temptation is to reassure. Resist it. Say that the filter reduces exposure and does not eliminate it, that there is a plan when something gets through, and that you will tell them if it does.

This feels like it invites worry. In practice it does the opposite: it is what a competent institution sounds like, and it means that on the day something happens, you are reporting a known possibility rather than explaining why your assurance was wrong.

The questions that will come back

"Why not just ban it?"

Because a ban stops school use and not use. Their child has a phone. The choice is between a tool the school has filtered and shaped, and whatever they find on their own.

"Will it make cheating easier?"

Yes, for tasks that were already vulnerable — which is why the assessment changes matter more than the filter. Name the specific changes. This answer only works if you have actually made them.

"My child is not allowed AI at home."

Respect it, say how it will work in class, and check whether the objection is to AI generally or to unfiltered AI. It is very often the second, and this parent frequently becomes the most supportive once they understand the filtering.

"Is our data safe?"

Answer specifically: which companies receive the content, whether it is used for training, how long it is kept. If you cannot answer, get it from the vendor in writing before you send the letter.

A letter you can adapt

Dear parents, From [date], [year group] will use [tool] in school. I want to tell you what it is, what it will not do, and what we are asking of you. What it is. [Tool] is an AI assistant with content filtering we configure. We have set the topics it will not discuss, and those rules apply to writing, images and video. The filtering runs on [tool]'s servers rather than on a device, so it applies wherever your child signs in, including at home. What we can see. Staff can see when a request was blocked and what kind of topic it involved. We do not read every conversation, and we do not intend to. What it will not do. No filter catches everything. If something reaches a student that should not have, we will address it and we will tell you. We would rather say that now than promise otherwise. On schoolwork. Some tasks will permit AI, some will expect it, and some will forbid it. Each assignment will say which. Where work is meant to show what your child can do unaided, we have changed how it is assessed so that remains true. What we ask of you. Two things. Ask your child to show you what they use it for — most are pleased to. And if anything troubles you, tell us rather than assuming we know. [Name] is available on [contact] for any question, including whether your child takes part. [Signature]

Adapt it, keep it under a page, and send it before the first account exists. The paragraph on limits is the one to keep.